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I’m a big fan of Stephen King.
I read the entire Dark Tower series, It, The Shining, Doctor Sleep, and my favorite movie ever was based on his novella, Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption.
So, at the behest of multiple friends who told me it was their favorite book, it’s finally me started reading 11/22/63.
Here’s the premise of the head explosion:
On November 22, 1963, three shots rang out in Dallas, President Kennedy died, and the world changed.
What if you could take it back?
Stephen King’s stunningly dramatic new novel tells the story of a man who travels back in time to prevent the assassination of JFK – a thousand-page tour de force.
Like any good geek, I devoted too much brain to hypothetical time travel, the butterfly effect, and altering the past. I bet you are too.
Time travel is such a tempting idea because our brains can’t help but think about the “road less traveled” and “what if I had done X instead of Y?”
Which brings me to today’s newsletter topic.
Accepting that some roads are closed is incredibly liberating.
Some roads are closed
My friend Tim Urban code WaitButWhy.com give this chart about the life choices we’ve made to date and the branching paths that open up for us tomorrow:
It’s really easy for our brains to hyper-focus on all the black lines in our past: the paths closed to us, the decisions we didn’t make, the decisions we did make, and how our life often seems “determined” right now.
“Because of the way I’ve done this in the past, things are simple.”
“Too bad I never did XYZ, it’s too late now. I’m so sorry!”
“I don’t deserve to be happy because of this mistake I made”
We often forget that it is possible to connect the dots of our lives only by looking back, in which we made every decision with the best information we had at the time.
(If you’re looking for a solid read, Matt Haig’s Midnight Library is a thought-provoking fictional story about alternative life paths and acceptance. Haig draws from the past the decision to almost take his own life.)
Let’s talk a little about those black lines and green possibilities.
Some trails may be closed!
I bring up all these things to make two points.
Author Chris Guillbeau, who strongly inspired my love of travel and influenced how I built Nerd Fitness, recently published an essay on celebrating behind closed doors.
We’ve all heard stories of people starting certain careers later in life.
An example would be, “It’s never too late! Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his breakthrough role in ‘Pulp Fiction’ until he was 46.”
And Chris points out that sometimes… it’s too late:
While these stories are inspiring, the lesson of “it’s not too late” is not universal. Sometimes it IS too late! To believe otherwise is to believe in fantasy.
Some things in life have real deadlines—not all, but some.
In other words, sometimes we often hold on to something we know we’ll eventually do “one day,” and perhaps refuse to accept the reality that…yeah, it’s too late.
Maybe we still hope to run a marathon eventually…even though we hate running.
Maybe we still hope to write that cookbook…even though we don’t really like cooking anymore.
Maybe we can decide that a few roads are closed to us. We can accept this.
The future is not set in stone either
A few weeks ago I wrote about how The past is not set in stonebecause our perception of the story changes.
It’s okay to accept that the dream we had when we were 20 is okay to die.
However, it is equally tragic to assume that it is “too late” for any changes in our future and that it is already determined.
Betrand Russell once said, “You don’t have to be who you were five minutes ago.”
As Chris says:
“It’s not too late” for many things, and that’s great. But sometimes it does, and that’s okay.
It’s not too late to learn something new. It’s not too late to try new things.
But it may be too late for certain tracks, and that’s perfectly fine.
In fact, it’s worth celebrating.
Letting go of certain paths or accepting that some paths are closed to us can free up space to make a different decision for life moving forward.
You can decide later today to:
- start powerlifting
- take an online course for a new career.
- try a new hobby.
- talk to your doctor about it weight loss aid.
We can’t travel back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination.
Some of the paths of life are now closed to us.
That might be fine!
Instead of spending more brains lamenting the closed black roads, we can throw ourselves into deciding which green road to take next.
-Steve
PS: Need guidance and accountability to reach your fitness goals? Nerd Fitness has helped 10,000+ people over the past 8 years with 1-on-1 online fitness coaching. Click here for more details.
