Physical Address
304 North Cardinal St.
Dorchester Center, MA 02124
Do you smile every time you hear a certain song or light up when you see a certain old friend? Both are what I like to call sparks of happiness.
We need them now more than ever to thrive despite the challenges, distractions, and overwhelming current events. Unfortunately, as I wrote in my recent book, “The Mentally Strong Leader”, There are days when these moments are hard to come by.
The key is to bring more sparks of happiness into your life, not by chance, but by choice.
It is needed mental strength and discipline to adopt perspectives and make choices that help bring you joy, especially when negative emotions and thoughts are hijacking you.
Mentally stronger people rely on these five mantras, which can provide little bursts of resilience i create sparks of happiness.
1. “It’s not what I’ve lost, it’s what I still have”
In times of adversity, it’s easy to focus on what has happened. You may have lost time, money or resources when something went wrong with this work project. Or you lost your identity when you were fired. Or you lost a hangout friend when your friend moved across the country.
Remembering to focus on what you still have makes a profound difference. Consciously practicing gratitude improves well-being, research shows
In the above situations, for example, you might be grateful for valuable information, loved ones with whom you can spend more quality time, and a new travel destination, as well as a friendship you can continue farming at a long distance.
2. “There is no perfect path”
When you second-guess a path you’ve chosen or lament that not everything is working out as you’d hoped, you can get stuck in a negative loop.
The truth is, there will always be unexpected twists and turns. It’s easier to find joy when you accept the imperfect path and overcome the obstacles along the way.
Think of an achievement or result that made you happy. Chances are you’ve faced some adversity to get there.
3. “Let it be”
When you’re frustrated and someone tells you to “let it go,” it can upset you more. It’s also bad advice because you likely won’t be able to ignore what happened and how it made you feel.
On the other hand, you can tell yourself, “Let it be.” This means using a form of cognition acceptancewhich is a surer way out of a downward spiral.
Don’t try to banish an adverse event from your psyche or change how you feel about it. Let it sit there. Recognize and accept that your emotions are legitimate reactions and focus on them how you will move forward productively.
4. “Big picture, small step”
When we struggle in the face of setbacks, we can lose perspective. Small challenges can suddenly seem overwhelming.
Saying “big picture, small step” to yourself does two things:
- It reminds you of the ultimate goal or vision of the life you want to live and who you want to be. When considered a setback in the context of the bigger picture, it shrinks.
- It can help you identify one small thing you can do to get back on the path to progress and positivity. This first action can lead to another small step of hope, which leads to another, and so on.
5. “Adversity creates beliefs, not consequences”
Think of it as your ABC sentence, inspired by the ABC model in cognitive-behavioral therapy. The idea is to remind yourself that adversity does not automatically mean negative outcomes.
The end result of adversity is determined by how you respond to it and the beliefs you form because of it.
For example, you will believe that a job interview that didn’t go well Was it an unrecoverable disaster that clearly shows you are a failure? Or will you see it as a learning opportunity and an obstacle that you will overcome, as you have in other previous situations?
Remember, “I’ll be happy when…” is a trap
It’s easy to get caught up in thinking this happiness is a destination, that if you can only earn a little more money, or achieve something specific, then you will be happy
You might say to yourself, “I’ll be happy when I finally get it promotion,” for example, or “If I could fit into these old jeans, I’d be so much happier.” Meanwhile, you let the joy slip by while keeping your head down.
Mentally strong people engage in what I call “discomfort,” a practice at the intersection of gratitude and mindfulness. It allows you to notice and acknowledge your gratitude for the small positives, even in difficult times.
You are encouraged to do so draw happiness to find and experience joy in the world around you, right now, every day.
Scott Mautz is a popular speaker, trainer and LinkedIn Learning instructor. He is a former senior executive at Procter & Gamble, where he led several of the company’s largest multibillion-dollar businesses. He is the author of “The Mentally Strong Leader: Create the habits to productively regulate your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.” Follow him LinkedIn.
Want to make extra money outside of your day job? Sign up for CNBC’s online course How to earn passive income online to learn about common passive income streams, tips for getting started, and real-life success stories.
